Difficult
by Fake it til you make it
Summary: She's making this very difficult for me.
1. Chapter 1

Difficult. Alice was making this very difficult for me. She knows how tough these couple of days have been for me. She knows about my changes and she knows what she's doing to me.

A few days ago on the full moon, I changed. It was a typical night for me, in my pjs scrolling through Tumblr. At first my body started to heat up, I heard a snap before I felt it. Before I knew it I was on the ground yelling in pain as I felt every bone in my body break and shift.

"Bella! What's wrong? What's happening?!"

"Charlie, get away from her. You'll get hurt."

"Bella sweetie, look at me. It's going to be alright. Everything's going to be alright." I feel cold hands rub my tears away but I can't open my eyes it hurts too much.

"Alice, I don't think it's wise to be so close to Bella."

"What's happening to Bella?"

"She's in pain! We have to do something! Carlisle do something!"

"Calm down. Edward try to calm Charlie and keep him away from Bella. Rosalie, Esme make sure Jasper don't get to close to Charlie. Emmett and Alice stay close to Bella but not to clo-"

"Uaghhhtoomuch," I yell. It's too much. I can smell too much, hear too much and the light is too bright. It's too much. I can't do this. I have to get out. I have to run. So that's what I do. I run. I run out the window and grab the tree branch by it and drop. I start running on all fours into the woods. I hear my clothes tearing and I feel myself run fast. My body hurts less but I can feel something else happening. I run until I feel water under me. I look down, watch as the ripples of water slowly stop but I can't already see it.

A wolf...a big black wolf with bright golden brown eyes...I'm a wolf. Holy shit I'm a wolf! How the hell did that happen? Why the hell did it happen? What the hell am I going to do? I can move to Canada, no one knows me there. No wait, why would I move I didn't do anything bad. I'm just a big ass wolf.

I look up and stare at the moon. My eye sight is insane. Fuck, the world it's amazingly beautiful. I look around and see the forest with so much detail that I couldn't see before. The next thing I noticed was the smell. The crisp water under me, the wet muddy grass, something rotten and the over powering smell of something sweet. The smell gets stronger as I hear the Cullen's run towards me. I smell something else that grabs my attention. I stare in the direction that they're coming from and wait.

"Bella!"

"Alice, stop! She might not be fully in control," Jasper says as he tries to grab Alice but she just flashes by him and closer towards me. I have my back towards them and continue to stare and wait.

"Jasper's right. Bella doesn't seem to hear us."

"Are you not gonna talk about the fact that Bella's a big ass wolf?!"

"Emmett has a point. She's not as big as the mutts but she's still big."

"I still can't read her mind."

"Bella, sweetie can you hear me?"

"Carlisle, what should we do? The wolves are coming."

"Charlie must of called them."

"Charlie knows about the wolves?"

"I've known Charlie for awhile and he's a smart man. He probably knows about us."

"Alice stay away from her!"

"Jasper calm down. Your thoughts are going to very dark places. Bella won't hurt her."

"You don't know that, Edward!"

"Bella, listen to my voice. Block everyone else and just listen to me," Alice says as she pets my back. Mmmm feels nice. The smell is circling around us. Smells like sweat and dirt.

"Carlisle, they're not happy with us. They think we're trying to kill Bella."

"Sam, we're not trying to kill her. We're trying to help h-"

A deep growl startles everyone. I stand on all fours and growl at the wolves. They smell gross. I don't like it. They need to go away.

"Bella, calm down. Just ignore them and listen to me. Close your eyes and breathe. Your safe. I'm right here," Alice says as she slowly walks towards my face. I listen to her and close my eyes.

"Alice will help her. We're going back and fix the hole Bella made. We'll wait there for you guys. Let's go," Esme says.

Alice waits for us to be alone before she speaks.

"Finally, we're alone. Can you try to change back for me?"

I try to turn back but nothing happens. I picture myself human and still nothing. Well this sucks ass. Come on already! I feel myself growl but I try to stop it. I don't want Alice to see me like this.

H"Bella it's okay. Look at me."

I take a deep breathe before opening my eyes. Holy crap. She's absolutely gorgeous. Like she was beautiful before but now. Now she looks stunning. I can't believe I never saw how gorgeous she is.

"Bella, calm down. Your heartbeat is racing. What's wrong," she questions as she touches my face. She looks so cute as she tilts her head and bites her lip.

"Your heartbeats increasing. You need to calm down or you won't change back," she says as she leans into me and lays her head on my shoulder. I feel my heartbeat slow down as she rubs my back. I breathe in her scent of vanilla and sweetness I can't really identify.

"Damn, you smell amazing," I mumbled.

"Bella," she whispers as she pulls away and looks at me.


	2. Chapter 2

"Alice," I say as I feel a chill in the air. I look down.

"Holy shit! I'm naked," I shout as I let go of Alice and try to cover up. I hear Alice giggle but before she gasps.

"Bella your different," Alice says as she stares at me.

"What do you mean," I question as I look down and just see my naked body.

"Well for starters your taller."

"Everyone seems taller to you, shortie."

"Bella! I'm being serious," she pouts at me.

"Okay, sorry. It's just that I turned into a wolf and now I'm naked in the forest. Can we go home?"

"Of course, Bella. Let's see how fast you are," she says as she runs past me.

"I'm still naked," I say as I run after her. I catch up with her pretty fast. It's incredible. I feel amazing. A little chilly but still it's amazing. I can actually past her if I want too. But well I kind of like the view.

"I'd pay attention to the road instead of my butt."

"Wha-"

I tripped. I tripped over a rock. I'm a wolf with awesome senses and I tripped on a rock. I hear giggling and find Alice leaning on a tree with her hand trying to cover up her giggles. Mean cute pixie.

"Nice butt. Stay here. I'll get you some clothes to change into."

"You too," I mumble. She's gone by the time I get up. I look around still amazed that I can actually see every detail in the forest. I can still smell her, running towards my house that has to many smells for my taste. I can barely hear them but I can hear her. She's trying to find clothes but people keep getting in her way.

I jog towards them and continue to try and listen but I'm still to far out. I can pick out the wolves and Cullen's by the smell. My dad closer to the forest, probably waiting for me.

"-n our care. So leave her alone. She's a wolf, so we'll help her."

"No way! Bella's part of the family. We're not leaving."

"Emmett's right."

"Carlisle, she's dangerous. Isn't it better for her to be with them until she can control her temper. She is a newborn after all."

"I'm with him. Bella could hurt us."

"Don't be ridiculous. Bella won't hurt us!"

"Everyone needs to calm down."

"Bella's a wolf like us. You leeches should just stay away from her."

"Bella," Charlie yells as he runs up to me and puts a robe around me. I put it on just as he grabbed me into a hug.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt," he questioned as he pulled my face left and right to see if I was injured.

"I'm fine. A little hungry."

"I'll make you a snack," Esme says as she goes inside.

"Bella, you should come with us. You need to be with your kind. We can help you," Jacob said as he walks towards me.

"No, Bella should stay at home."

"She could hurt Charlie. It's not a good idea," Sam says at Emmett.

"I'm not going to hurt Charlie. I'm stay here," I growl at him.

"Charlie would you like to get some coffee? Esme made some for you and Bella," Edward says as he leads Charlie away from me. He thinks I'm gonna hurt him. They all think I'm gonna hurt him. They don't believe in me. They just think I'm not in control but they're wrong. I feel fine. Ugh, it stinks here. It's hurting my head.

"Go away," I mumble as I cover my nose trying to block the smell.

"Bella, we just want to help," Sam says as he comes towards me.

"Go away! The smell is hurting my head."

"That's the leeches."

"No, it's you stinky mutts. Take a shower every once in awhile."

"Maybe we should all leave. Bella's a newborn. Her senses are strong right now. Plus wolves are territorial. There's a lot of people on her land."

"Carlisle's right. But someone needs to stay and protect Charlie."

"I'm not going to hurt him," I growl at Sam.

"Bella calm down," Carlisle says to me.

"Leave! I'm not gonna hurt him but I will hurt you," I shout to them.

"Bella look at me," Alice says as she walks closer to me. I watch as she gets closer and raises her hand and strokes my cheek.

"Alice be careful."

"You're not going to hurt him or me. You're not going to hurt any of us. Just because you changed into a wolf doesn't mean you changed. Your still the same Bella, I know."

I pull her closer to me before closing my eyes. I lean my head on her should and breathe in her scent. God, I could do this forever. I don't want her to leave. Everyone can leave but not her. I need her. She can turn me back. She can help me control my instincts. She's everything I need and want. I have to protect her. I have to keep her save no matter what.


End file.
